It’s A Gut Check

Nick Gangl

For me, the hardest part is really just the gut check of all of this. It’s that point where we’re preparing everything for intubation, you’re in the room, and they get that call or that FaceTime, and you’re there with them. It just hits you a little different. It really hits me in the heart. I just picture my loved ones and people close to me going through that same scenario. I also have a personal history with hospitals that comes up from my past.I was born premature at 32 weeks and I had a tracheostomy up until I was four years old. I’ve had extensive airway reconstructive surgeries – 43 surgeries actually – throughout my life, which is why my voice is raspy. So I’ve been on the other side. I’ve been a patient – a lot. I see people going through this and know how it is to be there.

“I just picture my loved ones and people close to me going through that same scenario.”

Nick Gangl, Respiratory Therapist

There’s so much of this experience that is difficult. It’s not that we didn’t see death prior to the pandemic, but the frequency of death right now is really hard. You’re working with the nurses, doctors and every facet of the care team to treat these patients, but seeing patients decline continually and the prevalence of death can be overwhelming.

But what gives me hope is coming to work and seeing everyone showing up every day. It’s having those conversations with people on the RT team and our care teams, and seeing people smiling with their eyes. It’s seeing there’s still positivity in our organization and within all our staff as a whole. I try to take things day by day, and week by week, and just find those silver linings in each day – and give patients the best care that we can. Because that’s why we’re all here.